valdemar

Chapter 95. It's December 31st. Because the other members of the family are going to the Soma house for New Years, Kyo and Tohru (neither invited) decide to spend it with Kyo's father at his dojo.

Positive memories of Kyoko Honda.

When Kyo was young, he met Kyoko, who formed a huge impression on him — she was effectively the second person he'd ever met who was kind to him, and he visited her many times over the next several months, learning about her and her daughter, who he grew sort of protective of by extension (while he never met Toru, he felt she deserved to be cheerful; nice people should be allowed happiness). Eventually they lost contact due to Kyo's own stubbornness, but ten years later Kyo witnessed her death in a car accident, something he blames himself for (if only he'd pulled her out of the way!). To make matters worse, her dying words also seemed to blame him for the accident.

Kyo will remember the accident and her dying words, and remember that there was a time that he admired and liked her, but will be unable to recall anything about her but her death/his role in it; likewise, all he'll remember of his childhood with her was him running off in an angry fit, without remembering why he was upset. He'll still know that she was important to him; even that he liked her a lot, but he won't be able to remember why or any details; just a big blank topped by a car crash. He will also be unable to remember his promise to her (to look after Toru), but will remember that he made a promise of… some… sort. The end result? A lot of frustration all around.

The Soma family is cursed. In each generation, children are born possessed by the spirits of the animals of the zodiac. There is only one person possessed by each animal alive at a time, and at times it is years between the death of one and the birth of another, but any child in the family may be born so cursed if a spot is "open." A possessed child has an affinity with their animal, and more than that, will physically transform into that animal when injured, under severe stress, or when hugged by a member of the opposite gender. The curse must remain a secret, and those afflicted are usually treated coldly, rejected, or abused for bearing it. Those who inadvertently discover it must be made to forget. Parents often reject cursed children. In the end, the only "bonds" these people easily make are between one another… the other cursed and 'God.' But they have one other comfort: whether possessed by the rat, the horse, or the dog… they are not possessed by the cat.

According to the legend, when God told the animals to come to his banquet, the rat tricked the cat, giving him the wrong date. Because of this, the cat missed the banquet, and is not a part of the zodiac. The cat is an outsider. He can never belong. He is pathetic, cursed, and exists only for the others, the real zodiac, to pity and look down upon.

Kyo Soma is the cat.

Put simply, Kyo's early years were not easy. Locked away by his mother, who eventually committed suicide over what others said — to Kyo's face — was the burden of raising him, he was abandoned by his father and ostracised by everyone he met. Kyo was well aware that he was hated, even at the age of only five or so, and reacted by lashing out. While being adopted by someone who genuinely loved him did much to ease that pain and anger, Kyo remains a short-tempered, and profoundly angry person. He can't stand being mocked or scorned, but he also doesn't trust kindness, which is usually borne from pity. Although he's on good terms with most of the members of the zodiac, he knows his fate is, upon graduation from high school, to be locked away in a room the rest of his life. He knows he's not truly "one of them," even if he gets along with them.

Deep down, Kyo is an intensely self-hating person. Although he protests and objects and gets angry in the face of scorn and rejection, he's heard all his life that he's a monster, and more than half believes it. Maybe he didn't kill his mother in action, but his existence caused her to want to die. His true form is a disgusting monster, and something he's deeply ashamed of. Early in the series, his shame over his curse causes him to hesitate instead of pulling a woman out of the way of an oncoming car, and her death creates even more self loathing. No matter how he tries, he'll fail. No one wants him, no one needs him, he'd be better off if he didn't exist. He's a monster and no one loves him — those that say they do are only pitying him, or don't understand how terrible he truly is.

Kyo isn't the sort of person to wallow in this, however. Instead, he externalises, forces the feelings away and onto other people, finding ways to blame and hate them instead of himself. This displays most prominently with Kyo's cousin Yuki, the rat of the zodiac. On the surface, Yuki has always lived the privileged, accepted, admired life Kyo can never have; even without trying, Yuki one-ups Kyo in everything he does. Worse, Kyo's mother's suicide note mentioned Yuki: If she had to have borne a cursed child, why couldn't it have been the rat? He's the perfect scapegoat for Kyo, and this feud is only encouraged by the head of the Sōma family, who told Kyo that if he can defeat Yuki at something — anything — he will be accepted and not locked away. Yuki is the perfect person for Kyo to direct his anger on because, he later admits, he's too afraid to direct it on himself.

The upside to Kyo's externalising, if anything, is that it does help him get by in day to day life. Kyo can be somewhat standoffish and cool when he's feeling vulnerable, but he's noted to be the sort of person who makes friends and socialises easily when he isn't thinking about it; while prickly and awkward around strangers, it's a transparent sort of prickliness that leads to a lot of banter and teasing and embarrassing nicknames for Kyo. He's straight-forward and energetic — not in the cheerful sense, but in the sense that he does nothing half-heartedly. He's angry, he's loud, he reacts strongly to everything, he challenges people to races or fights; he's competitive and doesn't often think things through (okay, more like never). For this reason, he's also sort of an idiot, as is often pointed out. It's not like he lacks intelligence exactly, but his upbringing left him more or less completely unaware of pop culture or technology, and that is only compounded by his strong reactions, extremely straight-forward manner, and utter lack of thinking ahead (and bad habit of not listening when people are talking). He also tends to be somewhat gullible when he doesn't know something. Better to act like he knew all along!

Not far below the surface is a strong desire to be loved and accepted. While he's deathly afraid of pity, of being hated and turned from, Kyo seeks love and affection and responds very quickly to it, no matter the source. Shortly after meeting Toru Honda, an outsider aware of the curse and one of the kindest people in the universe, Kyo began to fall in love with her. She was kind, she liked him even though she knew he was the cat, and he was completely unable to resist growing close to her. Likewise, his adoptive father met Kyo at his angriest and most hurt, and Kazuma's basic kindness won Kyo's love and loyalty very quickly. While he attempts to act aloof and uncaring, he laps up any genuine affection shown, and responds in kind with a much gentler, calmer side, and fierce loyalty and protectiveness. Even if he still privately frets somewhat about the sincerity of it, he's entirely unable to stay away from any kindness shown, and the influence of this love and affection shows: as Fruits Basket continues, Kyo grows less angry and less short-tempered, far less aloof, and much more honest with himself about his fears and emotions.

● Kyo is, first and foremost, possessed by a cat spirit. When under severe mental or physical stress, or embraced by a member of the opposite gender, he will involuntarily and instantly transform into an orange cat. He retains his human mind and ability to speak in this form, and it wears off — leaving him naked — after a random period of time. This possession comes with several other side effects: cats are drawn to him and Kyo has an affinity for them — he doesn't seem to care about them much one way or another, but they do what he wants them to; he's distasteful of water and dislikes swimming, and rainy days leave him noticeably lethargic and grumpy; his favourite foods are all fish; he enjoys being in high places, and he can also land on his feet after jumping from second story windows! His possession also explains his colouring; Kyo has orange hair and eyes, which is commented on many times for how unusual it is, and is usually assumed dyed.

○ Kyo also possesses a "true form," unlike the other members of the zodiac. He wears, at all times, a bracelet made out of red and white human bone, which he never, ever takes off, whether awake, asleep, or bathing. If his beads are removed, he instantly transforms into a grotesque, reptilian monster that can run quickly and has long, sharp claws. This transformation brings him intense shame and misery, and Kyo has one hell of a complex about them, never taking them off. However, if they are removed, he will eventually change back to human on his own. (Only to transform back, presumably, if the beads are not replaced.)

● Kyo's father, Kazuma, is a teacher of martial arts, and Kyo has been taught since he was adopted by him. He's stated to be a black belt, and shown to be quite skilled and dedicated to his training. His dream, in a world where he would be allowed to do so, would be to take over his father's dojo, showing he's really quite serious about it.

○ Mundanely, he's a surprisingly competent cook, and has shown himself to be good at various household tasks and light repair; he has plenty of practical skills, when he chooses to make use of them!

He wakes up before the alarm, the sort of sudden, complete wakefulness that makes Kyo suspect he must have heard a noise, or had some sort of bad dream. He doesn't hear anything now, and any dreams are just dregs (and better off so), so he allows his body to relax and turns his head to check the time. 4:27. So, not too early. The room is dark but for the glowing numbers of his alarm clock and residual light from outside, but Kyo sits up, stretches, and crawls out from his futon without bothering with a light. He dresses just as easily, the cat spirit compensating for the darkness without his even having to think about it. He's the first one awake; Shigure and Yuki won't be up until the last possible minute, and Toru doesn't usually get up until around six. Only for her sake (screw Yuki) is he careful to be quiet, leaving his room and heading downstairs, putting on his sneakers and slipping out the door for a run.

He likes this time of day. When the world is silent and empty and cool, no one bothering him, no one looking at him, no one thinking about him at all. The sun comes up gradually, and he runs along his usual route, not thinking of anything in particular but pretending he's not making a circle, pretending he's running away for real, for good, to somewhere. But that isn't allowed. Some fragment of the night's dream bubbles up, and he frowns — the scratchy feeling of cheap curtains, dirty glass, mom's hand tight on his shoulder, pulling him back — and pushes the thought back into the darkness. He completes his run and jogs back to the house, and by the time he's done washing up, he can smell breakfast cooking. He towels off his hair — he hates the feeling of being damp — and doesn't quite hesitate (the dream; stay inside), leaving the quiet of the bathroom to head for the kitchen. Anyway, he ran for forty minutes; he's hungry.

Toru smiles at him, so bright, and tells him "good morning!"

here!

Kyon has lived his entire life in, basically, an abusive cult; getting to know people outside of that can only be good for him, and help him grow as a person instead of remaining "locked away" as he tends to do. While at his current canon point he has made steps towards opening up to some people, he still has a long way to go — in other words, I'd like to see how he can be developed in a different setting!